Offense: How Could She?

How could she?

I saw an open book from eye-level perspective. It had a thick wood chunk between the pages, preventing them from turning.

Looking at this image, I became agitated. “We’ve got to get rid of that chunk so we can see the next good thing written. What blessings and adventures am I missing out on, Lord? What is this block?”

He replied, “Offense puts a stumbling block in the books written about you and your loved ones. It delays or hinders the turning of the page. It stops the discovery of the next good thing I have for you.”

***

I learned from this word picture, but apparently I needed to go deeper with this concept because, a month later, He showed me another word picture to describe pride, humility, and laying down of offense. 

 ***

I saw a deep canyon with a small river running through it between boulders, and then a small segment of the river went off to the side between other boulders. I was unsure which way to go and what He was showing me when suddenly the entire canyon river became covered in boulders to where you could no longer see the water at all.

“Now what?”

“You have two options. Walk on the rocks where you can see everything and keep a sense of control. Or flow in the water beneath the crushing boulders with no vision of what is coming next.”

Being squeezed by boulders into impossible spaces did not sound great to my claustrophobic self. I hesitated to say yes.

“Flow with Me. Allow the crushing. Invite the crushing of self. This allows you to fit through the tiny areas you normally can’t flow or move through. You can’t stay prideful or puffed up and go where I’m sending you.”

I understood He wanted me to say yes to His next plan. He gave me a few moments to digest that, and then ended with the following statement.

“This is the answer to your prayers asking to be used in the Kingdom of God. Humility allows you to help others.”

***

This sounded right to me, but also made me cringe in anticipation of what circumstances would come my way to teach me this level of obedience. I said yes, despite my fear.

***

All offenses are rooted and routed toward pride. Rooted meaning when we go deep into the mindsets of why we feel offended, it takes us to pride. We somehow believe that our needs are more important or our ethical standards are higher than the other person's and therefore have more weight. Pride routes all our mind-sets and emotions to steer us to take rash actions.

When you take offense, you judge others and deem them inferior. 

The statements in your head go something like this.

How dare they?

Who do they think they are? 

They’re never going to change. 

These statements lead you to believe that the offending people are wrong, hopeless and can’t change. It also leads you to believe that all responsibility of needing to improve, surrendering to the Lord, and humbling oneself is on them and not you. You let yourself off the hook. 

Pride is an enormous boulder impeding the flow of the Holy Spirit. 

You must get smaller, more humble, to flow through the cracks, through the places you never could fit when you hold on to pride.

Where do we begin in this process when we are in the midst of being offended?

First, ask the Lord if the person has chosen Jesus as their Lord. If so, the Holy Spirit will convict and teach them; remember, you are not to act as their Holy Spirit.

Your next step is to ask for a prayer plan for how to pray for them and their loved ones.

Consider this scripture and how it conveys how we should treat those who persecute us.

Romans 12:14-21, AMP

“Bless those who persecute you [who cause you harm or hardship]; bless and do not curse [them]. Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief]. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty [conceited, self-important, exclusive], but associate with humble people [those with a realistic self-view]. Do not overestimate yourself. Never repay anyone evil for evil. Take thought for what is right and gracious and proper in the sight of everyone. If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for God’s wrath [and His judicial righteousness]; for it is written [in Scripture], “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for by doing this you will heap [a]burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome and conquered by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Footnotes: Romans 12:20 This may refer to an ancient Egyptian custom in which a penitent person carried a bowl of burning embers on his head to show his shame and guilt. By analogy, being kind to an enemy may lead him to shame and repentance.

However, if the Lord reveals this person does not have Jesus as their Lord, then your ability to forgive and bless them is a beautiful testimony of how Christ loves and sacrificed for you. It will help them see Christ’s teaching in you. Remember one of the greatest blessings you can give God is to teach a lost person about Him. Drawing one of his wayward creations to Him. What a joy for the Father.

Either way, we must become smaller. 

We must work toward desiring the person’s hearts to be right with God and in His love so that they can receive all they need from Him. We must desire this more than being right. 

This seems so simple and sounds like common sense. 

However, it’s far from easy.

Now, take the name of the person who irks you, offends you, pushes you the most, and put their name into the scenario of laying down the need to be right and instead, do what God deems necessary to capture their hearts.

Let us start in prayer. (put the person’s name who is offending you in the blank)

Lord, I refuse to stand on my righteousness. It doesn’t matter if I’m right; it matters what You want me to do. I need Your prayer plan for this situation. I desire to see _____, how you see them. Give me Your heart for them. I humble myself so that I might carry out Your will. Thank You, Amen.

What is God‘s prayer plan for them? Ask the Lord and He will grant you the wisdom on how to pray. This has taken me months for one person, and I cannot say that I am done. There is much work to be done on this situation.

Matthew 6:14-15, AMP

“For if you forgive [others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others [nurturing your hurt and anger with the result that it interferes with your relationship with God], then your Father will not forgive your trespasses.”

There are glorious rewards for humility. I wish I could tell you all the rewards, but I’m not sure we get to know on this side of heaven. For now, delighting in His obedience is enough. I wish I could say that I’ve made humility a constant walk in my life, but, to be honest, I am a work in progress.

Prayer for you and me:

Lord, help us forgive people who actively desire to hurt us. We need Your heart and wisdom to pray correctly for these people. We know that Your grace is more than enough. Help us feel Your grace and mercy as we lay down our pride to obey You. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.